Traveling full time as I do, it’s easy to feel that you’re on one endless vacation. But life goes on, with its joys and its sorrows, independent of your plans.
I was fortunate to spend Christmas week of 2014 with my cousin Stephanie, her husband, Richard, my Aunt Betty, and Uncle Bob in Sarasota:
I saw them all briefly again when I returned to the Sarasota area to board my cruise. Betty had taken a fall during Christmas week, and her pain subsequently got worse instead of better, eventually diagnosed with a fractured tailbone and checked into rehab. When I returned, Stephanie and Richard were clearly stressed from seeing to her needs and visiting Uncle Bob to keep his spirits up. Before I left on my cruise, I volunteered that when I returned, I’d be happy to take over for them while they had a weekend getaway they had planned some time ago. When I got back from the cruise, they had decided they’d be too worried to leave town even for a couple days, but suggested I could handle some of the visits to Betty and Bob, to which I gladly agreed.
My second night back in town, I helped Betty with her dinner at the rehab facility, took her for roll outside in her wheelchair, and gave her a fairly lengthy recounting of my cruise, which she clearly enjoyed, remarking and asking questions. It was a great time together, rare that it was just the two of us.
The next day, I was shocked to hear from my cousin that Betty had taken another bad fall in the rehab facility that afternoon, had hit her head, and was in the hospital, unconscious. Betty never fully regained consciousness and after a couple days, doctors recommended hospice. Bob and Betty’s son, Robert Michael (“Mike” to be distinct from Bob) flew in from Washington D.C. We all shared a week of vigil at her bedside, then she passed peacefully away, the day before her 93rd birthday.
A coping mechanism I developed during the year my wife declined due to cancer is to look for the blessings in the midst of the sorrows. Seeing my friends and relatives more often was an important goal when I adopted my traveling lifestyle, with Betty and Bob at the top of the list of important visits. It is providential that my travels allowed me to have some wonderful time with Betty just before she passed, and that I was in the right place at the right time to provide what support I could to the family.
Betty was a saint, I never heard anyone say a word against her. She also had an inner strength we all admired; if someone was being pushy, she’d push right back.
I’ll close with a couple family photos from happier times:
That’s my daughter, Amanda, on Betty’s lap, and my niece, Keelin, on Bob’s. Bob and Betty were married 68 years.
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